"The world is my country, and to do good my religion."~Thomas Paine
“Happiness is the only good. The place to be happy is here. The time to be happy is now. The way to be happy is to help make others so."~Robert Ingersoll
“Many persons have no idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose."~Helen Keller
This is gonna sound weird considering I work in the field of marketing communications - but the media is bullshit. We’re hand fed these lies that our world is unsafe, heartless, and violent. The spotlight shines brightest on the bloody, the booty and the scandalous. We’re bombarded with messages about political, business and religious corruption.
It was while attending the AZIGG meeting this past Friday that this random tangent first began. AZIGG is the Arizona International Growth Group. This was the first AZIGG meeting that I have attended. Cold Stone Creamery headquarters was the gracious host of this panel discussion and I’d guesstimate that about 75-100 people attended.
There was an incredible energy in the room and after the panelists discussed various viewpoints on international growth, marketing and sales strategies and cultural communications the floor was open for questions.
It was amazing to witness such eloquent and well thought out questions being asked. There were such positive ideas for wanting to understand other cultures, explore and expand Arizona business beyond the borders of the U.S.A.
Business owners looking to not only grow their own businesses, but to help the growth of the businesses of our global neighbors. To provide services and sell products that add value to the lives of our foreign counterparts.
Not gonna break out into a round of “We Are the World” here, but I’m not buying that these trying times are the end of the world as we know it. And I gotta say, if trash and drama and gloom and doom is all you’re seeing, perhaps you simply need to paint yourself a prettier/bolder/friendlier/quirkier/more imaginative picture.
I’m not going all Pollyanna. Nor am I being “obnoxiously optimistic” (thanks Jason wink wink). Just making a request that as the busyness of everyday life swarms around you, that you stop, look around and really witness what’s taking place in the world around you. It’s easy to focus on the negative. That’s our predisposed default mode. Let’s notice the people that are really out to serve the greater good.
One way to lighten the “we’re going to hell in a hand basket” load is to go on a media diet. In the news the saying is “If it bleeds it leads”. So STOP watching it. If there’s something really big going down, you’ll hear about it at work, on the radio, or catch wind of it online. But the 5, 6 and 10? Tune them out!
Same goes for the gossip rags. Yes, I know it’s funny to see cellulite on celebrity thighs. Or watch them get stalked coming out of Starbucks with no makeup on. But honestly there’s not much value in tearing other people down in order to feel better about ourselves is there? I’m as guilty as the next gal, so let’s just try a little gossip-rag-o-rexia for one week OK?
How are YOU, your neighbors, your community, your city serving the greater good? What ways are you being responsible for raising the vibe and the collective consciousness of this planet?
Let’s all ante up and play bigger, grander, badder-asser (bite me grammar freaks). We don’t need rose colored glasses to visualize a brighter future. We just need to set our intention, focus and step into it one peaceful/playful/creative moment at a time. Can you dig?
Passionate Theme of the Day: Flirtatiousness
PMP Song of the Day: Only Human – Jason Mraz
“Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible.” ~Marion C. Garretty
“To do something, however small, to make others happier and better, is the highest ambition, the most elevating hope, which can inspire a human being.” ~John Lubbock
“There is no more noble occupation in the world than to assist another human being - to help someone succeed.” ~Alan Loy McGinnis
It’s my first summer in “The Valley” (as Phoenician’s commonly refer to the PHX) and yes, it’s a scorcher. But as cliché as it sounds, it really is a dry heat. Being from STL and having spent a couple of years in Dallas, I’m used to summers with high humidity. But the desert heat…it’s a different kinda hot.
Here you feel the heat radiate through your feet. It warms the bones and soothes the soul. It doesn’t feel sticky and icky and gross (technical meteorological terms). And if you get really lucky, some days there’s a breeze that stirs up and takes the sting off the hotness (like today yum).
Not sure if it’s being new to the city, feeling more comfy in my new job, or getting used to the heat…but I’m feeling flirty people! I’m not just referring to flirting with the opposite sex (tho that’s been fun), but to a basic feeling of friskiness in general.
The other day at the office someone asked, “How’s life?” And outta nowhere, I replied, “Fan-fucking-tastic.” Ummm…hello, unnecessary dropping of an f-bomb at the office yo. Where’d that come from? It’s been like that for a few weeks now. And the more I step into flirt mode with the world around me, the more the world around me is flirting right back.
So I decided to turn it into an experiment. The “get your flirt on with the Universe” (GYFOWTU) experiment is officially game on ya’ll. The results have been interesting. Here are some examples: Went to the bank the other day to order some checks. The B of A on 20th & Camelback has a super friendly staff.
Every time I go in there the manager is walking around chatting up patrons, the tellers behind the counter (and bullet proof glass - scary) are always smiling and cracking jokes. (Sometimes I wonder if they’re on happy drugs in there.)
But I digress. I order these checks on Wed. and need them ASAP. And my friendly teller says, “No worries Kammie. We’ll rush deliver them and we’ll knock off the rush fee for you. It’s usually an additional $30, but we’ll take care of that today.” Aww thanks B of A.
In the past couple of weeks I’ve received all kinds of random compliments, gifts and general sweetness from friends and strangers alike. The stoner kid bagging my goodies at Trader Joe’s carded me for my bottle of wine purchase and winked at me when he saw my ID. “Dude. You don’t look that old.” Dude…you just said that out loud. But I think he meant it as a compliment. I’ll take it. Thanks Trader Joe’s stoner guy.
After graciously holding the door for me, the wacky-eccentric-might–be-homeless-guy that hangs out at the Starbucks at 7th & Missouri shouted out after me, “Be careful out there sweetie!” Umm, OK. Maybe there was some unforeseen danger that only he could see for me and his warning was a message from the Universe to buckle up? So I did. Thanks zany guy at Starbucks.
Tuesday evening I met Lane and some of her friends for a nibble and a glass of wine at Postino’s. After initial introductions and shaking of hands, her friend Helen says, “You’re gorgeous. You look gorgeous.” Wow! Thanks friend of a friend I just met. Can you come and sit on the counter in my bathroom while I get ready every morning and chant that mantra to me?
Hells yeah, I’ll take some more of that. Helen is a total hoot. She kept saying things like that and it got to the point where I asked, “Was I not supposed to be gorgeous?” Like I thought maybe there was something I was missing. She just laughed out loud and said, “No. I just wanted to make sure you knew that.” Hello? Message from the Universe - delivered. Translation – even tho I think I’m easy on the eyes, I’m really freakin’ gorgeous…refer to my own post regarding this…here.
Last night I stopped in at Rokerij to meet some fabulous new PHX female friends for a frosty cold one before I headed home (thanks again Meredith & Brandy). As we were leaving we walked up stairs from the wine cellar below. None of us had seen the actual restaurant upstairs before.
We opened the door and the manager immediately greeted us with a smile and offered to give us a guided tour. He walked us all the way around, showed us the private dining room in back (which seats 14, has a flat screen TV, private sound system and cozy, intimate ambiance BTW), walked us through the kitchen and out the back door. Sweet tour. Thanks Rokerij. (Note: Rokerij got voted best first date by New Times…who’s taking me?).
“Deliver raving service” is one of the core values of my new employer. Maybe that’s why I’m noticing great service when I see it out and about even more. But I also think it’s because I’ve been experimenting with the intention of receiving raving service as well.
How many times do we play small and accept less than we deserve? Someone brings you the wrong dish at lunch and you say, “It’s no big deal, I’ll just eat it.” Or you purchase something online and it seems too much of a hassle to call the customer service line and clarify the issue.
This week’s PMP challenge is to walk around this world with an attitude of expectancy and receptivity. Not because you’re better than anyone else, but because you deserve it. Just like anyone and everyone else.
Show some gratitude every time someone holds a door, offers a helping hand, gives you a compliment, goes above and beyond for you. Just because they can. How freakin’ cool is that? People helping people just because they can.
Then flip that over and offer the same to people you connect with on a daily basis. At the office, the gym, your local coffee shop. How can you offer that personalized human touch right back out there? How can you make a lasting impression to help make someone else’s day a little bit lighter?
There’s enough heaviness in the world today. War. The economy. The planet’s resources burning up. How can you positively contribute to the greater good by reaching out to others? It doesn’t have to be grand sweeping gestures.
You don’t have to have the Donald’s bank account to roll like a Trump in spirit. Be generous. Extend yourself. Exercise your patience in chaotic situations. Be the calm within the storms that swirl around you.
Provide others with a safe place to land. Listen to a friend in distress. Don’t snap back at that snappy customer or client or manager. Offer that granny a helping hand out to her car. Help find a home for some displaced animals. Teach a kid how to read. Say please and thank you.
It ain’t rocket science ya’ll. Just basic human being-ness. Pour it on the people you come into contact with and watch those ripples boomerang right back atcha. It’s pretty freakin’ incredible.
Let’s think of the other people in our community as our customers. And let’s set a goal of 110% pure loving kindness and acceptance. We don’t have to like everyone to love them. Show some love ya’ll. Life is too precious and too short to be a big ol’cranky meanie. Plus, being mean ages you. Frowning and yelling and screaming and ranting and raving causes wrinkles. And it’s just plain bad cosmic mojo.
That’s it and that’s all from the PHX today. I‘ll leave you with the lyrics from one of my boyfriend (he’s not really my boyfriend but he writes poetry & sets it to music oh, and he blogs therefore he’s sexxxy)Jason Mraz’s latest tunes from We sing. We dance. We steal things. It’s called Only Human.
Peace, love & flirtatious over-the-top winks,
K-love
Passionate Theme of the Day: Grace & Grit & Goodness
“Who said anything about church? You can go to temple, go to a mosque, heck, Grace – go sit in a dang tree if that’ll get you closer to God.”
Grace and Earl in Bring It On Earl
“Granted, he chews tobacco and likes disco, but you’ve entered into the divine, Grace.”
Rhetta in Bring It On Earl
“I’m just Fed Ex trying to deliver a message.” ~ Earl the angel on TNT’s Saving Grace
Where to begin this random tangent? Last night (I actually happened to be home and the TV was on, which is rare with my new job as I’m usually attending some networking event) and caught the season two premiere of TNT’s Saving Grace.
I’ve never seen this show before. So to stumble upon episode one of season two and be completely enthralled within 10 minutes is HUGE. I’m still dissecting what it is about this show that’s got its hooks in me. Let me begin by saying that Grace is a total train wreck! She’s an alcoholic, promiscuous, foul-mouthed, chain-smoking, ticking time bomb. She’s absolutely tragically flawed…yet utterly human and breathtakingly stunning.
I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. It’s like Holly Hunter’s Grace is a real person and I’m friends with her. Plus the rest of the cast had such synergy…it was like they’re real friends, lovers, family. Make believe is what good TV is all about right? Well people, I bought it hook line and sinker. I’m in. After a little clicking around I found the pilot. I gotta admit though, if I’d watched the pilot first, I’m not sure I’d have been as into it.
Last night’s episode however, was a piece of work. Drama. Laughter. Sexual tension. An angel that chews tobacco. Turns out that Grace was sexually abused by a priest at her church when she was a little girl. Last night found Grace kidnapping him and holding trial in her living room. Yes, she contemplated killing him. But she didn’t. Her intentions are good. She’s become a homicide cop to try and stop the bad guys. That’s her calling. Her mission.
I like Saving Grace for many reasons on many levels. The main one being that Grace is REAL. OK, I get she’s a character, but she is who she is and OWNS it. Authenticity at it’s finest. She doesn’t make excuses. She doesn’t answer to anyone (well maybe God…she’s debating it). Of course I also love the spirituality vs. religion debate.
After watching the pilot, I understand that Earl showed up after Grace hit a man while she was driving drunk. She was covered in the man’s blood and said, “Please God help me”, when Earl, the grungy, tobacco chewing, cowboy boot wearing angel appeared.
Grace didn’t believe in God (understandably she’d have issues from her childhood trauma…BTW, her brother is a priest) so when Earl snatched her up and whisked her to the Grand Canyon (cuz that’s where angels take people at the crossroads dontcha know?) he asked her if she was willing to get it together and stop making such fatal decisions.
Grace shows us that we can step into the shadows of our soul and use them for a force of good. We can wrap those dark corners around us like a cape anytime we need to kick some ass. I also dig that Earl doesn’t look like what we’ve been told (in most religions anyway) angels look like. He doesn’t talk like angels “should” talk. He doesn’t expect her to DO anything for God’s love. She can still be fatally flawed and fragile, even when she’s wearing her emotional amour and slinging her gun (or swinging her “guns” - Holly’s ripped ya’ll) Earl reminds her that God is omnipresent and always there.
He reminds her that sometime life sucks. Sometimes it gets low down and dirty. It’s not all hearts and flowers and rainbows and puppies. Bad shit happens to good people. It’s all about what we choose to become after we face a demon head on.
How are you embracing your Grace? How have you taken your pain and used it to fuel your fire? Are you still sitting in the puddle of mud? Are you in denial? What might you need to face your demon(s) head on? Do you need a silver bullet? A wooden stake? A samurai sword? Some ninja-ass moves? A counselor? A coach? A recovery program? A quiet space to write it out. A canvas to unleash some wicked-ass paint at? A guitar and a blank piece of paper? Work it out yo!
I encourage you to embrace your Grace and take a baby step into the light. Do what you gotta do to get right with you. If you get right with God (the Universe, Creator whatever you call the HP) along the way, more power to you. Have more FUN. Laugh your ass off. Dance naked in your kitchen (Grace does). Work your mojo. Be good to you. It’s your trip man. How do you wanna experience it? Do more of what feels good and less of what feels bad. Transformation doesn’t happen overnight. But it does require action. Forward motion. One foot in front of the other…
Like Earl says, “I’m just Fed Ex trying to deliver a message.” Spread the word.
Passionate Theme of the Day: Pretty Little Mistakes
“A man’s errors are his portals of discovery.” ~James Joyce
“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” ~Albert Einstein
“I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones.”~ John Peel
Mistakes. That’s the PMP topic of choice today. What the hell is a mistake anyway? A quick Google search finds this little ditty of a definition: “A wrong action attributable to bad judgment or ignorance or inattention”.
Have you ever used bad judgment or been ignorant or not been paying close enough attention? I know I have. So why all the hang up about making mistakes? Our western culture gets so hung up about not making mistakes. Being “perfect” (whatever that is) has become another addiction. Another source of anxiety and stress. The latest form of self-abuse.
What if we stopped worrying so much about making mistakes and just started living more dangerously? Not like stupid dangerous. I’m not taking about stepping out in front of moving vehicles dangerous. Not recommending running with scissors in a daycare or anything. I simply mean lightening up and taking some risks.
Today’s post was inspired by this video interview on Borders.com. Author Heather McElhatton wrote a “do over book for adults” called Pretty Little Mistakes. (I haven’t actually read the book yet, but now it’s on my list.) Remember those books when we were kids that had multiple endings? It’s like that.
Apparently McElhatton took six years off to write her great American novel and it was a total flop. She didn’t date, quit her full-time job, moved back in with her mom and spent all her free time writing. Six years later, somewhere near the age of 30, she shopped it around and didn’t get a single nibble. No takers. Zip. Zero. Nada. Big fat goose egg.
What was the prize inside that six year “mistake”? Acording to her, she hauled ass up to the attic (after she hauled her ass out of the puddle of tears on the bathroom floor) and found a linoleum remnant. She grabbed a couple of sharpie markers and used her makeshift whiteboard to mind-map/time-line her life all the way back to high school. That was the last time she remembered feeling like she knew where she was at (you folks from STL know how we love to end sentences with prepositions...it’s in my blood people). Where she remembered thinking, “OK...I’m finished with school. Now I can either…go to college or marry so and so, or blah blah blah…”.
Then she played out the different endings as if she had taken different paths. (Reminds me of the movie Sliding Doors with Gwyneth Paltrow). So she fictionalized her multiple different endings and wrote THAT book. Sure she stumbled, but she didn’t let it keep her down.
If McElhatton hadn’t made that “mistake” she never would have white boarded out the idea for the book that DID get published. The one that DID resonate with publishers. The one that landed her the interview I saw on Borders.com and the one that got her two more book deals in the works.
Mistake? Nuh-uh. It was all part of the birthing process. Maybe she needed to get that first book out of her system to create the space for the “real one” to cultivate. Sometimes we’re in such a hurry to get “there”. We often overlook the stepping stones (that often are disguised as boulders, mountains, asteroids or cosmic blockage) that are simply part of the creative process.
I had a similar conversation with my friend Katie tonight about her hopes and dreams for her future and her business (and mine too). I remember telling her that everything she desires is already there. She just needs to step into it one day at a time. (Member THAT show? That’s another post).
It’s already on the map. She’s simply not clocked enough mileage to be at that destination point yet. The cool thing is (like McElhatton’s book) is that at any point Katie (or any of us) can turn, slow down, speed up, join up with fellow travelers, stop to camp and roast some marshmallows, star gaze, bird watch, meditate, go for a hike or skinny dip in a swimming hole along the way.
These places are our choice points. Forks in the road. Bends in the path. Occasionally we hit a pothole. Or a road closed sign. Or construction. But that’s all part of the adventure. I’m excited to read McElhatton’s book and see how many different ending’s I can try on for size.
What part of your story is unfolding? And if you’re less than satisfied, what choices can you make to change it? Which fellow traveler might you be able to hitch a ride with? Do you need to slow down? Speed up? Stop and smell the roses? Are you even on the road?
If you don’t have a map and are in need of some clarification send me an e-mail, I’m happy to lend you my flashlight…it’s kind of my thing. Maybe that’s a new branding statement for me… “Have flashlight. Will travel.”
Be well happy travelers. Make mistakes. Many. Lots. Zillions. If you’re not busy living in the here and now...falling down, getting back up and dusting your butt off again and again...what are you doing? Playing it safe? Is there such a thing? Live safely dangerous. It’s the only way to fly.
“For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.” Vincent van Gogh
Due to the consistent (and increasingly less gentle) persuasion of my friend, former student and fellow blogger, Lane over at The Road Through Life… I am officially ending my blogging hiatus. Thank you Lane, I am forever indebted to you for getting my train back on its bloggy tracks (and reminding me that my final post says I’m preggers with JJ Abrams baby…I’m sure his PR peeps are sick of seeing that post come up in his Google searches).
So where have I been and what have I been up to since my last post on March 9th (OMG! Has it really been that long? Thanks again for the kick in the pants Lane)? Let’s see…I finished my final semester teaching at Lindenwood, applied for, interviewed 5 times with and finally landed a great gig in PHX with a fantastic company.
Packed up my condo and put it up for sale (anyone interested in buying a 1000 sq. ft. 2 bed/2 bath in the St. Peters area?) rounded up the dogs, hopped in the car with my dad & co-pilot for a 1500 mile road trip from STL to PHX. Whew!
What did YOU do this summer??
Upon arrival, I had a week to get acclimated to my desert surroundings and then dove head first into my new job. Week one found me attending quarterly meetings week in PHX. Week 2 found me attending quarterly meetings week in Saratoga Springs, NY. Week 3 was back to PHX for networking breakfasts, lunches and happy hours to try and get wired into the market.
Week 4 found me hopping (multiple flights) to Vancouver, BC to shadow one of our sales managers to better understand what we do and how we do it. Ummm, can you say HOLY WHIRLWIND Batman?
You see why blogging hasn’t been on the top of my to-do list? As I’m about to roll into week 5, I’m able to come up for air, take a few deep breaths and begin to construct some sort of (flexible) structure for my new life in the hot lane (yes, it’s a dry heat but 115 is 115 people).
Transitions can be turbulent, but they can also be refreshing. People have asked if I miss the STL. I miss my friends. But it honestly feels like one day I hopped in the car, headed southwest, got out and entered another dimension. A completely new life and a new version of me. If life were a video game, I just kicked it up to the next level.
It’s a little tricky to explain where I’m landing emotionally and spiritually right now. I haven’t felt much like talking about IT lately. I’ve just been loving the hell outta living IT. Ya, know?
I encourage anyone and everyone out there to blog it out yo!!! Blogging was my way of putting it out there and sifting through the dirt to find my gold (cliché much?). Only I gained the amazing gift of YOU stopping by and helping me sort through the STUFF.
All of that streamlining, simplifying, shedding the layers, peeling of the onion, deep cleaning, house clearing, roof raising, soul purging, passion pursuing…WORKED. I am on the other side of a lot of loose ends that needed wrapping up.
Love’s left lingering - completed. Fears faced – check. Demons slayed – I’ve got the skulls to prove it. Values claimed – you betcha. Visions explored – and then some. Goals accomplished – more than I imagined. Transformation complete…I’m just getting warmed up.
It feels amazing to be at a place where there is room in my heart, space in my soul, inspiration in my cup, motivation on my list, integrity in my steps – to move forward without the constant tugging on my sleeve of the past.
As I cruised through this crazy-beautiful country of ours…Missouri, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona I said my final farewell to old energy, baggage, misty memories or shoulda, coulda woulda’s. No regrets. No mistakes. Only interesting, eclectic, simple and exotic stories to share as I step into the future.
There you have it and there you are. The bloggy hiatus spell has been broken. I am looking to post at least once a week, most likely on Saturday’s or Sunday’s. I’ve missed you my bloggy buds and hope I’m still showing up in some of your rss feeds!
I’ll wrap this up by sharing some of the things that have inspired me this summer (besides the many cities I’ve cruised through or visited in the past 2 months…Vancouver I LOVE you):
*The Twighlight Series – You know I loves me some vampires! (Well if you didn’t now you do)…I’ve completed Twilight, and almost finished New Moon…Eclipse is just a quick trip to Borders away. Edward or Jacob? Vampire or werewolf? The jury is still out for me…but I think I’m partial to the bloodsucker.
*Also noshed on Christopher Moore’s You Suck and am a quarter of the way through Lamb - The Gospel According to Biff Christ’s Childhood Pal. If you don’t know Chris Moore, go introduce yourself.
*Rock Band – my sis, bro-in-law and niece are THE premier rockers on her block. Ain’t no party like a Rock Band party!
*LinkedIn – if you’re not in my mix yet, let’s be friends.
*So You Think You Can Dance – It’s the most deliciously-beautiful-scrumptious delicacy FOX has to offer. Watch it. Feel it. Love it. Below are a few of my favs this season…
There you have it.
Now stop waiting for permission to live life on YOUR terms...go forth and kick-asseth.
Passionate Theme of the Day: Pregnant with Possibilites
“The final mystery is oneself.”~Oscar Wilde
“Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life. Don’t let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity.”~R.I. Fitzhenry
“The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper."~Eden Phillpotts
Inspiration is a funny thing. You can seek it out. But it often eludes you. Chase it and it runs from you. It becomes a game of cat and mouse. Sometimes you just gotta simmer for a while. Read books of a different genres (Candy Girl author Diablo Cody knows how to tease, titillate and spin a yarn - I’m also finishing Synchronicity: The Inner Path of Leadership by Joseph Jaworski as well as Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth - interesting mix, eh?).
There’s one TED video that’s pushed my buttons recently. Since showing it to my public speaking class last week, I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind. Here JJ Abram’s shares the story of his Mystery Box. (Go watch it now!) Take 18 minutes and listen to this master story teller share his passion for mystery, talk about his grandfather and biggest fan, and infect you with his love of magic and things left unsaid.
This video’s got me simmering in a pool of mysterious, magical, inspirational deliciousness. As an Aries, I tend to be an open book. Even been known to say, “Mystery is overrated.” Yet, the older I get the more intrigued I am with not knowing how everything is going to play out.
As a recovering perfectionist, control freak and over achiever - learning to let go of the reigns and get out of the way of my own success has been a pot-hole speckled road to say the least.
Where is that pot-hole-speckled-yellow-brick road leading me next? This much I know for sure - I’m moving to Arizona near the beginning of June. I will no longer be teaching at LU, and have absolutely no freakin’ idea how I’ll be earning my keep. But for some wacky reason, that’s completely OK. Sure, I get freaked out every now and then, but the stars are aligned, the synchronicities are showing up and all signs point to the desert.
I’ve still got plans for a major PMP overhaul, but that’s second to my first focus, writing my book. In a few weeks, I’ll be launching the DLMP blog where I’ll be discussing topics based on the theme of the book. But back to what I loved about the JJ Abrams video.
He uses the example of this magic mystery box that he got as a kid at a magic store in Brooklyn, as an analogy for life. He says that each and every one of us is a mystery box. Our life is one big question mark. I dig that. Do you? As personal development fans, we tend to get caught up in the “how to do” side of life.
Yes we can live from intention and focus on how we want our days to go. Of course we can set goals to get us from A to B to Z. Obviously we have choice and free will to help us navigate the waters of reality (whatever colors we choose to paint that reality with is up to each of us). But at some point after all the commitment, planning, strategizing, and getting things done…we have to let go and let it be.
There’s plenty of room for commitment, planning, and strategizing. Just as there’s room for romanticizing and philosophizing. And then there’s what I call the X factor. It’s kind of like dating. Sometimes people look good on paper. Maybe you even see a picture of them and speak to them on the phone. But until you meet them in person, you don’t know if that chemistry is there. That magical, mysterious quality that’s either there or it isn’t.
We don’t “click” with everyone. Just as each experience we perceive as being “right” for us on paper, in our grand plans, isn’t always the experience that will help best serve our learning experience on this planet (which also helps serve ever other person’s learning experience as well).
Life is kinda like that. We have to create space for the magical, the mysterious, and the chemistry of the Universe to come into play. We have to make room for it. Open ourselves up to the flow of it. Invite it in. Entice it with focus and passion and desire.
So yes, we need to focus on “what” our hearts desire. But we gotta leave the “how” up to whatever you call that Divine presence – God, The Universe, Creator, The HP (higher power). We’d do good to follow the advice of Henri Frederic Amiel and
“Let mystery have its place in you; do not be always turning up your whole soil with the ploughshare of self-examination, but leave a little fallow corner in your heart ready for any seed the winds may bring...”
We live in interesting times. The technology of today allows us to explore subjects we’re curious about with the click of a mouse. Blogging and social networking allows us to expand our boundaries of friendship and business partnerships.
Our digital global village has created possibilities that never existed before this time in history. All of this can lead to infinite possibility, magical connections, the intersection of mysterious crossroads, and inspiring conversations, e-mails and discoveries.
Wrap your arms around yourself and embrace the big-ass question mark that is YOU. Be gentle with yourself and your unfolding. Allow space for some mystery and magic to roll through and open up doors you weren’t even aware existed. Because they’re all around you.
We just can’t see them with these human eyes. Close them. Now you have a blank canvas. Stop trying to control when, where, why, how and with how much pressure, nudging and grasping. Sink into the comfy cushions of your desires and simmer for awhile. Hold your focus.
Now open your eyes again. See? Right there…just up ahead. There’s a sign. A song. A poem. A magazine article. A chance encounter. A bumper sticker. A link to a website. An e-mail. A conversation with a “stranger” at the airport. A question from a 3-year old at the grocery store. A compliment from a new friend. A book recommendation from a colleague. A snippet of conversation overheard on an elevator.
Magic. Mystery. Inspiration. It’s all around us. Our future is right before us. One step at a time. One conversation at a time. One moment of stillness. One deep breath. One new sight. New sound. New awareness. Look…it’s here. NOW. Enjoy!
Peace, passion and inspiration abounds.
Much love,
Kammie K. - Mystery Maven, Master of Magic, Instigator of Inspiration
ps...incase you don’t feel like linking to the video:
"Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.”
Mozart
“The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death.”
Unknown
“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”
Mother Teresa
Happy Valentines Day passionate friends!
I know it’s been awhile since I’ve written, but as I’ve mentioned before, my mind is full of ideas and creations around my book. I’m not ready to share the title quite yet, but I’ll tease you with the initials. DLMP…that’s my baby’s secret code name for now. And as soon as I launch the blog that goes with it, you’ll be the first to know.
Today also happens to be the PMP’s 2nd B-day!! Yeah. I’ve learned so much in since launching in 2006. I started this wild journey into the blogoshpere two years ago and it was really about stepping into the unknown and it was a little scary at times. Putting myself out there, letting you all see the inside of my noggin – even in times when life was a shaky. But you all lovingly supported and nurtured me through good times and rocky roads, joyful discoveries and random tangents.
So I wanted to take a moment to say thank you and share some linky-love with a few of my favorite people. Some of you I call friends, some crushes, some have become phone buddies and several of you fine-ass-people I’ve had the delicious pleasure of meeting in person (Woot-woot SOB Con 07…not sure I’ll make it to SOB Con 08, but I love you guys all the same).
Here are some things I’ve learned since writing for the PMP:
That it’s not enough to have a good day, we must simply Make it Great!
That sometimes I just gotta make a mad dash into orbit now!
Oh me oh my…there are so many others that reach out and grab me each time I sail through the bloggy-sphere. Thank you to all bloggers for stepping up, putting it out there and sharing your wisdom, silliness, beauty and passion.
Passionate Theme of the Day: Success & Inner Peace
“ ‘Express’ is to communicate, convey, reveal, expose or give. “Yourself” is YOU. In Expressing YOURSELF we want YOUR thoughts, feelings and emotions, not someone else’s. “Express yourself FULLY” means “all of you”, not a partial rendition or “playing it safe” version…
Performers, singers, artists, and musicians find fulfillment in their work because they have a direct channel for expressing themselves fully. On the contrary, when someone follows a format that is “NOT really them” or is forced to fit a mold, the same level of fulfillment disappears. What prevents us from full self-expression?
Fear of JUDGMENT.
If we can learn to “let go” of what others might think, we can be free to “fully BE ourselves” What would you like to express to the world? What haven’t you revealed yet? How can you “express yourself fully” everyday? One of our deepest human needs is to be “fully seen” by another. And, it’s so fulfilling to do so. Try it, you’ll like it.”
~Life Coach Mary excerpt from her article 10 1/2 Keys to Living Fully Fulfilled
I’ve mentioned that it’s my intention to re-vamp the PMP into a resource site for all things passion and purpose. While the physical design re-vamp hasn’t taken place yet, that doesn’t mean I can’t begin sending you juicy pieces of goodness.
One of the key ingredients to my current level of sanity and grounded-inspiration, is being a member of Life Coach Mary’s Success & Inner-Peace Bootcamp. I’ve actually completed a one-year run and am now on my 2nd year in Bootcamp 2, a 6-month off-shoot that several Bootcamp one participants were begging for. We’ve upped the ante and are deepening our level of “energetic-alignment” and cranking up the volume of our lives using the keys for success we’ve integrated from our first journey in S&IP Bootamp.
I want to share with you the opportunity to experience Mary’s Success & Inner-Peace Bootcamp for yourself. For me, Bootcamp has been like having a full-time coach along with 15-20 accountability partners. It’s like a mastermind group, a support-network, a team of cheerleaders, and a band of like-minded souls to encourage, push, nurture, challenge, and inspire you.
Through sharing the process with others, we open ourselves up to deeper learning for ourselves. I got to see my own hopes, dreams, fear and desires through listening; witnessing and supporting the other Bootcamp participants grow through their own unique challenges.
"The Boot camp provides both the ‘cheers’ to celebrate my accomplishments and the ‘kicks in the rear’ to keep me on track towards my goals.”
Terri Bolton/Teacher
“There is NOTHING more powerful than committing to a year long program of focus and support on the goals most important to you. You will be astounded by what you can and will accomplish.”
Gaile Burchill, Spring Green, WI
Or visit Mary’s website and listen to the 7 Keys to Success and Inner Peace in 2008.
The other cool bonus about Mary’s Bootcamp is that you work through the entire process using Mary’s book The Power of Inner Choice as your traveling companion. The book is where the foundation of the Bootcamp process comes from. If you do nothing other than order the book, you’ve already given yourself an amazing gift. Be sure and mention that you heard about The Power of Inner Choice or the Success & Inner Peace Bootcamp here at the PMP and get a FREE copy of the Success & Happiness Book I contributed to as a special gift!
So I’ll ask you…Are you ready?
Are you ready to make 2008 your most extraordinary year yet? Are you ready for success and inner peace to flow steadily in your life? If you answered yes, congratulations! Remember, success follows a commitment to action. Sending Mary your completed Bootcamp Questionnaire and Application is the first step you need to take to participate in her One Year Coaching and Life Mastery Boot camp. Be inspired. Be enthused!
Mary’s Bootcamp keeps me inspired, motivated and focused on maintaining inner-peace and a mindset of being vs. doing. All while taking action on my projects and creative endeavors. So what are you waiting for? Click on over and get started! And you better hurry because the next Bootcamp starts Feb. 5th...so you have about 2 weeks to join if you are interested.
On another note…if group coaching isn’t your thing, I’ve got room for 3 new passionate people to join my client list. If you’re ready to take inspired action, boost your confidence, create the vision of a life based on your core values and have some serious FUN along the way, then send me an e-mail at the link in the sidebar.
Live juicy passionate people. What other way is there? Lackluster? Blue? Funky? Freaked-out? Anxiety ridden? Comfortably numb?
If you’re tired of talking about making changes in your life and ready to take action…send Mary or I an e-mail and get yourself the support you need to really live the life of your dreams. You’re closer than you think!
“Hot funk, cold punk, even if it’s old junk, it’s still rock and roll to me.” ~ Billy Joel
Hello long lost bloggy-buddies. No I have not fallen off the planet. Just in a bit of a bloggy-blue period. Actually 2008 is forecasting to be a really BIG transitional year for me. I’m not privy to share all the details yet. But know that just because I don’t write often, doesn’t mean I don’t love you anymore!
There is actually LOTs of inspiration and imagination brewing and unfolding around the book I am writing. So a lot of my creative juju is swirling in a slightly different orbit than the PMP. And I have plans to re-vamp, re-model and re-purpose the PMP blog/site. Therefore, posts here may be slim pickin’s till about mid-way thru the new year once the overhaul is finished (or started, depending on how the year unfolds and what magical opportunities arise).
Since I didn’t have any creative spark of genius for new content and wanted to touch base with you all, I thought I’d share a couple of little nuggets I gave my class just before the holiday break. We just finished a semester that was highly focused on presentations, resume writing, mock interviews and general “how-to” do it better career guidance from me. (“It” meaning networking, finding communications career opportunities, internships and cool gigs.)
Our last day of class I passed the following out to them...some of which are applicable to many career fields and life in general, so here you go…from me to you with much love:
Kam’s Top Ten Do’s & Don’ts for Business & Life
(Helpful reminders for interviews, presentations & dating)
1. Do be yourself…let your uniqueness shine thru
Don’t be a cardboard cutout of who you think you should be, or a crappy version of someone else
2. Do be more interested in the other person you’re speaking with
Don’t be a self-absorbed ego-maniac
3. Do spell check every PowerPoint, presentation, resume, paper, manuscript
Don’t be silly & NOT
4. Do be curious – question EVERYTHING!
Don’t think you know it all…EVER!!
5. Do be proactive – seek out info, ask how you can help/make a project better or contribute to your team, company, relationships (this includes friends, family, significant others, community)
Don’t wait for life to happen to you – make it happen!
6. Do be a person of integrity – if you say you are going to do something, DO it!
Don’t be a flake
7. Do be CONFIDENT - be your own biggest fan, no one else is gonna toot your horn for you – celebrate your strengths
Don’t be insecure, feel “less than”, or needy…you have everything you need to succeed…use it!
8. Do continue to educate yourself about things you don’t know, might not be interested in (this means glance thru magazine like Wired if you’re more into In Style or Business Week if you’re into People…the competition is)
Don’t get stuck in a rut, or left in the dust
9. Do be of service – volunteer, be a big brother/big sister, contribute to your community
Don’t be all about me, me, me
10.Do tell stories – whether you’re going into advertising, marketing, event planning, broadcasting for radio or TV…your job is to TELL STORIES! Move people, influence people, light a fire under their butt!!
Don’t verbally vomit, spew mindless drivel or bore your audience – whether it’s one-on-one, broadcast to millions or to a group of two or more
11.Do always add value, offer a bonus, give more than what’s expected, step up your game
Don’t be average. Because you’re NOT!
The the that’s all folks! There ya have it and there ya are. Stick it on the fridge, your bulletin board or a post-it on your forehead. Anywhere you might need it to serve as a reminder that if you’re in it to win it, you gotta play BIG or go home. I’m working on playing BIG in 2008...how about you?
What are your play BIG or go home goals for 2008? I’d love to hear how you’re getting off the ground in 008...drop me a comment and let us know!
"Live a life less ordinary
Live a life extraordinary with me.
If I could name you in this song
Would it make you smile and sing along?
This is the goal: to get into your soul
If I could make you dance for joy
Could that be the second-chance decoy?
The bird-in-hand I would need
To help you understand?”
Life Less Ordinary - Carbon Leaf
Happy Holidays. Merry Christmas. Happy Chanukah. Merry Festivus. HoHoHo and mistletoe and all that jazz.
Just wanted to drop off a little holiday love. I haven’t posted since Thanksgiving. I know it’s been a while. Life’s been moving at warp speed these days and LOTS of transitions are happening and are set to happen for 2008. My sister and my niece are leaving today for AZ and her hubby is heading out next week.
That’s a BIG change for me. I’m used to seeing my sweet niece Alyssa at least once a week, and I probably won’t get out there for a visit till sometime in March. So…a little sadness here for the holiday, but I know they’ll be really happy out there and that makes me smile.
My mom is still living with me after some issues she was having in the fall. Things are going well and we haven’t been stepping on each others toes too much yet. Big changes are on the horizon for her and I this year. Can’t divulge all the details yet, but I am committed to living in the present moment and living from my values. That commitment will come in handy as massive changes evolve in 2008.
“Decisions become less of a struggle. There’s a lot less pushing and a lot more attracting. Negative relationships will fade out, bad business partnerships will be broken and toxic family scenarios will be dealt with. Because if you ARE a walking billboard for your core values, the rest won’t fit anymore.”
Being clear about my core values, I’m definitely witnessing the truth in that and loving the amazing opportunities that continue to float my way. Bit by bit, allowing the puzzle pieces of the future to fit together. (Versus me trying to squeeze pieces that aren’t intended to fit together - work!)
My wish for you is to continue to become clear about who YOU are and what you truly desire in your life. It doesn’t have to be a struggle. It doesn’t have to be painful. It’s simply a matter of CHOICE and commitment to taking action. Even if it’s one tiny step at a time. When we stop talking about IT and just start living IT, we are out of the starting blocks and on our way around that first bend.
Sidebar: I’ve been reading Ken Wilber’s book Grace and Grit. It’s the true-life, beautiful love story about Ken and his second wife Treya and how their relationship evolved during her battle with breast cancer.
One of the (many) points that stuck me is after Treya was first diagnosed she made a list of the things she wanted to change in her life. Not because she had cancer and should change these things, but because these were things she wanted to change anyway. Things (many of us want to change) like fitness, nutrition, journaling, meditation/spiritual practice, etc. That got me thinking…why do we wait?
Why do we so often wait for a break-up, a breakdown, a bankruptcy, loss of a job, loss of a family member, loss of a marriage, or diagnosis of an illness - to step up and shift into high gear?
This book has touched me on many levels and I feel so close to Treya’s spirit as I read each of her journal entries. We share many personality traits. Over-achiever, perfectionist, control freak, independent woman. I feel like I was called to read this book as a reminder that I have the power to change anything I desire in my life right NOW. I don’t need to wait.
And I wanted to share that message with all of you dear friends. We don’t need to wait another minute to get busy living our best life ever. We have permission NOW to take life by the hand and DANCE. Shake our groove thang. Jump for JOY. LAUGH our collective asses off! Make more money and MEANING than we’ve ever imagined. Create more BEAUTY. Spread more LOVE. Design the finest tapestry of a life we could ever imagine.
There is nothing standing in our way except ourselves. And we have the power to MOVE. To choose different than we’ve chosen before. If we don’t like it, it’s high time to stop bitching about it and CHANGE it.
That’s my 2008 New Year wish for you. If you aren’t happy with something or several things about the way your life is operating, get ballsy and step up to the plate. Swing that bat and really let’er rip! I’m game…how about you?
"If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “thank you,” that would suffice.” ~Meister Eckhart
“Thanksgiving Day is a jewel, to set in the hearts of honest men; but be careful that you do not take the day, and leave out the gratitude.” ~E.P. Powell
“For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.”
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Ahhh…the amazing day of feast and friends and family. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. I know it causes a lot of stress and anxiety for many. But I love the food, the wine, the football, the hanging out in the family room and just vegging out. My plan on Thanksgiving is to have no plans and to allow the day to unfold before me.
This year I’m looking forward to playing with my niece, attempting to make my step-mom’s sweet potato casserole (I’m not a big cook), eating the yummy food we all bring to the table, sipping on my favorite red wine, lounging around after dinner and the opportunity to share this day with my sister’s family and most of all spending some hang time with my mom.
Many of you are aware that recent times have been challenging with my mom. I’m happy to report that things are back to a steady level of respect on both of our parts and that she is healthy and seems relatively happy (amazing what the right medication and a safe, healing environment…my house…can do).
I make an effort to walk in a state of gratitude each and every day, but this Thanksgiving I’m gonna be drunk with joy a little more than usual. Interesting that it can take a crisis (or close enough to one) to really make us reflect back on how lucky, healthy, and abundant we are.
This year I am grateful for:
~Support of amazing friends (both near & far)
~Phone and internet to connect me with those amazing people (some I’ve never actually met in real life, but have supported me more than they probably know!)
~The blogoshpere and all my online buddies & the wisdom and guidance of the many powerful writers that openly, and freely share their insights
~Music that has helped pull me out of funky times & given me strength (Kanye West) during trying times
~Books (Eat, Pray, Love)
~Movies that have provided a safe escape from “reality” (whatever that is) when I needed a little breather from my own
~My niece Alyssa & her 3 yr. old light, intuition & wisdom (she is my guru!)
~My mom’s health, smile, love & safe return home
~My dad & Sue’s support of my endeavors
~My creativity
~My quirkiness
~My joy
~Chance & Trixie & smelly doggy-kisses
~Coach Mary & my bootcamp beauties
~Sanctuary of a home
~Safe car to drive
~Surprises
~Connection to ALL that is
~Love
~Peace
Thanks to all that comment and all those who don’t. I appreciate you reading my words and the opportunity to connect with you.
I’d love to hear what YOU are grateful for this year, as we take this day to reflect upon the near ending of yet another year.
What made you so happy you cried? What moved you to silence? What shook you so hard you thought you’d never bounce back…and then did? What little itty-bitty kindness turned around your day? Week? Month? Life?
Drop some comments and share a piece of your Gratitude Pie…I can’t wait for a nibble!
“Mentor: Someone whose hindsight can become your foresight.” ~ Anonymous
“You know, you do need mentors, but in the end, you really just need to believe in yourself.” ~Diana Ross
Hello passionate friends. Today’s post is about models & mentors…in my case specifically, it’s about a model AS a mentor. I teach public speaking and we often talk about being a confident speaker. (That’s once we get them over the initial hurdle of not wanting to hurl once in front of the group). But conquering nervousness when public speaking is a whole different post.
At this point in the semester, the students understand the organization of thoughts and main points. How to construct a thesis statement. They get how to construct an intro/body/conclusion. But many of their presentations could use a boost is in the confidence area. They just aren’t as confident as they could be, therefore their presentations lack oomf, pizzazz, gusto, flair and could generally use a little more razzle dazzle.
My recommendation? Find a confidence mentor. According to Dictionary.com a mentor is an adviser, master, guide, preceptor. Now, I’m not talking about the usual business mentor. Or necessarily someone you’ll ever talk to or have a relationship with (although if you can identify someone in your local vicinity that you could actually meet with, more power to you).
The cool thing is, this works in all areas of life, not just with public speaking. For example, I’ve been looking to boost my confidence in the area of writing my book. There are loads of questions I still have. Books I convince myself I still need to read. Research I tell myself I still need to uncover and e-courses I should take in order to help me with the process. In all actuality, I just need to step up to the keyboard and start typing. DUH.
So I started to take a closer look at why I’m procrastinating. There’s a laundry list of reasons why I couldn’t, shouldn’t, wouldn’t take on this endeavor. All signs point to one nasty four letter word. FEAR. Yuk! Leaves a bitter aftertaste in my mouth..
I got to thinking of someone I could model myself after. Someone that embodies confidence and abundant expectation. I wrote down a list of all the qualities and characteristics I want to OWN and weave into every fiber of my being. Here’s a few of the words I’m looking to wear as I walk down the catwalk of life as a published “writer”:
As synchronicity would have it, just as I completed this list, I had a conversation with a friend about being deserving vs. undeserving. Her idea is that we should all try on underserving for a while. Be undeserving? What? Stick with me here…my friend says we all get too hung up in the voices that whisper things like, “Oh…I don’t deserve this and I definitely don’t deserve that.”
She asked me to consider the idea that we should be open to receive all the abundance in the Universe simply because we ARE. Simply because we were birthed into this world and are the baby darlings of the Universe. Not because, “Well he works SO hard, of course he deserves THIS”, or “She is SO giving of her time, of course she deserves THAT”.
My friend’s idea is that we don’t HAVE to do anything to deserve something. We should just be expectant of all goodness simply because we exist. No more and no less deserving than anyone else. That immediately triggered an idea about who my confidence model/mentor would be. And she happens to actually be a model.
I instantly thought of model, mogul, fashionista and mother - Kimora Lee Simmons. If you’ve seen her Style Network show Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane you know that Kimora is the embodiment of the qualities on my list. It’s as if she walks through life saying, “Of course I fly around the globe in my private jet. Why wouldn’t I?” “Of course I have 4 personal assistants to help support me as I run my empire. Why shouldn’t I?” “Of course I’m a model, a mogul, and a mom. Why couldn’t I?” OK, so she can come off as a bit of a diva from time to time, but hey...at least she’s being her.
I absolutely LOVE her for this. She should bottle and sell THAT!! She already has a fragrance called Beauty, but she should name her next one Confidence. She simply oozes it out of every pore. Kimora walks through life deliberately creating an abundant, beautiful, and successful reality. An exact description of the kind of like I’d like to live.
What qualities could you use a little bit more of in your life? Get out that ol’ dog eared notebook and write out some juicy ones. Then take a look around you. Think of friends, neighbors, community leaders, celebrities, authors and coaches that move or inspire you to up your game. Who portrays themselves in a manner that you could see as advantageous to incorporating into your own repertoire?
Back to that “fake it till you make it” concept. Some aren’t a fan of it. I say, if it works…work it. If I’m feeling funky or not bringing my A game and I think of Kimora all sassy, fierce and fabulous…I can close my eyes and imagine myself modeling some of that. Harnessing some of her powerful energy and channeling that into my own mix. If it helps give me an added spring in my step, sparkle in my eye and charisma for class, why shouldn’t I borrow some of her mojo?
Now go out there and find your own super-model-mogul-mama to fashion yourself after! Kimora Lee Simmons is spoken for.
Do what you gotta do. Say what you gotta say. Be who you gotta be.
Passionate Theme of the Day: Radical Self Acceptance
“Self-acceptance comes from meeting life’s challenges vigorously. Don’t numb yourself to your trials and difficulties, nor build mental walls to exclude pain from your life. You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously. You will find peace not in denial, but in victory.” ~ J. Donald Walters
“When you’re a beautiful person on the inside, there is nothing in the world that can change that about you. Jealousy is the result of one’s lack of self-confidence, self-worth, and self-acceptance. The Lesson: If you can’t accept yourself, then certainly no one else will.” ~ Sasha Azevedo
“May I never be complete. May I never be content. May I never be perfect. Deliver me, Tyler, from being perfect and complete.” ~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club, Chapter 5
“My definition of success is total self acceptance. We can obtain all of the material possessions we desire quite easily, however, attempting to change our deepest thoughts and learning to love ourselves is a monumental challenge.” ~ Anonymous
Hello passionate peeps. Life is good today. Not bouncing off the walls, dipped in chocolate, rainbows and unicorns good…but good. I was never into hard-core drugs, so rainbows and unicorns and bouncing off the walls isn’t really my style anyway. I’ve been living moment to moment and focusing on gratitude, patience, compassion and peace. It’s working. Update on the situation…baby steps ya’ll. Baby steps. And that’s a beautiful thing.
I’ve actually been thinking about a situation a former client of mine has been dealing with. One that is similar to what I’ve dealt with myself and I’m sure many of you have to. He seems to be stuck. (Been there). And he feels disoriented. Like he’s living a false life.
On the outside he’s worked in corporate environments, also as a freelancer, and is able to put on the mask of “corporate marketing guru”. But on the inside feels a strong pull towards more creative work. He is highly self-aware and has read many self-help/personal development books, been to workshops and success training seminars. He wants to be a positive light in the world and combine his work with his purpose, but feels a strange tug-o-war between his upbeat, “socially acceptable” and “out there” work demeanor, and his inner delight that revels in his darker, moodier, broodier, introspective, more philosophical side.
The challenge for me was that I could SO clearly see his creative POWER, juice, MOJO, and gifts - hiding behind his shadow. He’s so afraid to let his shadow-self see the light of day. For fear of what might come out. For fear of not being accepted. For fear he might not ever be able to go back to that “comfort zone” again. (Done that).
Have you experienced this? It seems like the more we tune-in with our passionate and purposeful path, often the more discombobulated we feel (Andrea Lee calls it dis-com-boob-alated). With quantum leaps can come a sense of spiritual madness.
In her book Spiritual Madness the Necessity of Meeting God in Darkness, Caroline Myss shares her thoughts on the mystical journey. I originally read this many moons ago, before I really “got it”…and have since re-ordered it on CD. There are also several other resources online that discuss and share info about this spiritual crisis & dark night of the soul experiences.
I went through a period like this a couple of years ago. Honestly it felt like I was losing my mind. I remember looking in my closet each morning and feeling like, “Who do these clothes belong to? I can’t wear this stuff!” But had no idea what I did want to wear.
Nothing seemed to fit. My friends. My family. My clothes. My job. My relationship. My hair color. I felt all shook up. And like I didn’t have anyone to talk me through it. At times I would just well up with emotion and cry for no reason. It felt like such an emotional purging. A roller coaster ride of ecstatic highs and heavy waves that would pull me back under. It didn’t feel like a depression as much as it felt like an out of body experience. As if I was floating above myself looking down and watching myself as an actor on a stage. Very Matrix, behind the veil kinda thing.
What helped me was reading Debbie Ford’s book, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers. Even the title reflects what I was feeling. I SO wanted to just keep focusing on the “light” side of my personality and spiritual growth. But it got to the point where I couldn’t ignore my dark side.
Could no longer ignore my bitch side. My ugly side. My snappy side. My judgmental side. My manipulative side. My WTF is wrong with YOU side. My potty mouth side. My not-so-neighborly side. My I-don’t-have-the-time-to-listen-to-your-drama-I-got-enough-of-my-own-right-now side. My lazy side. My over-emotional side. My fitness sucks side. My drunken side. My maybe I should go sell towels on the beach and forget about saving the world side. You get the picture.
And you know what saved me? Writing it ALL down and really looking at it. Then owning ALL the dirty details. I took one evening and wrote them all out. Then I tried them ALL on like a new wardrobe. I put each so-called “bad/ugly/not-so-pretty/socially unacceptable” quality on like a fancy new jacket.
I wrapped myself up in all my dark/moody/broody/selfish & sour stuff. And you know what I discovered? I NEEDED those qualities. Uh-huh. I know many of you out there have been through similar experiences and have been doing your “work” for many years. You get what I’m talking about.
But I share this for those readers that are just embarking on their spiritual journey and may not yet have experienced this, or are just beginning to feel the prickly side of personal development. The part of the process that sneaks up you and sucker punches you in the stomach while you’re too busy searching in every book, workshop, 6-CD set, online e-course, church or yoga studio for enlightenment.
Cause shining our light is a beautiful thing. But often times we’re first plunged into darkness and some people don’t know how to emerge out of that long and dark corridor. Movies and music always strike such a chord in me. This part of the process - the first denying of and then the liberation of our shadow side - reminds me of the movie Fight Club.
That’s how I described this to my client too. I asked him if he’d seen the movie (of course he had) and said he reminded me of Ed Norton’s character in that wacky scene where he’s kicking his own ass up and down his bosses office. We’ve all done that to ourselves. Some people whoop their own ass daily. Now why would we wanna go and do a thing like that?
That’s where choice comes into play. We can choose to look at our whole selves. Pull all of our dirty laundry out of the closet, take an honest look at it and assess the situation. If we can pull the labels off and stop placing such importance on THIS is BAD or THAT is GOOD…and accept that it just IS. It’s not always pretty. It doesn’t always smell good. But it’s our stuff. ALL of it.
If we ease up on the judgment of ourselves and start practicing Radical Self Acceptance, we’re on our way to experiencing true freedom. So often we say we don’t care what other people think of us, but we forget that we often hold ourselves hostage. Keep ourselves prisoner. Locked up. Pent up. Fed up. We’re the judge and the jury. And convict ourselves with a life sentence.
Unlock those prison gates. Kick the self-imposed warden in the balls and bust your ass outta there. You’ve got gifts that need to see the light of day and it’s only through owning your inner bad-ass that can really help elevate you.
Don’t be afraid. It’s not the boogey man. No Halloween prankster. It’s just the other side of you. Your inner Tyler Durden. In your face. Not backing down. Tapping you on the shoulder and pushing you beyond your comfort zone. A constant reminder that you can run but you can’t hide. Everywhere you go, there you are. In all of your magnificently flawed - elegantly wasted glory.
In the words of Fight Club author Chuck Palahniuk, “I just don’t want to die without a few scars.”
“Reality is merely an illusion, although a very persistent one.” ~Albert Einstein
“Sometimes I’m confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn’t obvious...” ~Michael Stipe
“Reality isn’t the way you wish things to be, nor the way they appear to be, but the way they actually are.” ~Robert J. Ringer
Good day passionate people. First off - I love you. Thanks to all of the cool folks who’ve dropped a comment, sent me an e-mail or called. I am constantly blown away by the fact that this form of technology has changed the way we operate and that I have friends all over the planet holding the love & light for me. Big, fat, hugs to you all!
Status update? The situation…still not so hot. However, I’ve been “rethinking my stinking thinking” (check out my favorite fitness coach Craig Harper’s post for practical tips on doing just that) and reached out to an amazing support network of friends and family and am determined not to let this situation get the best of me.
It’s a bump in the road, there’s a lesson to be learned (or lessons) and as the genius Byron Katie says, “It is what it is”. Been playing with Byron Katie’s The Work and working through her Judge Your Neighbor worksheets and asking those four powerful questions of inquiry:
1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought?
If you’ve never done The Work, or experienced the often bittersweet aftertaste of finally finding the TRUTH in your thoughts, I highly recommend visiting her website and watching the powerful video clips of Katie doing The Work with clients. If you’ve ever fallen prey to (and who hasn’t) limiting beliefs or self-sabotaging or judgmental thoughts about yourself or others, doing The Work is like finding freedom.
A good friend of mine once asked, “Is life just one BIG mind-fuck? Is God really just playing with us?” HA! Clearly we are indeed mind-fucking ourselves every time we buy into the downward spiral of limiting thoughts and disempowering beliefs. Just as we do when we waste valuable time and energy judging others, which is what I have been doing with my mom.
I wasn’t ready to share the details of what’s been going on with my family, but will share a bit. Essentially, my mom is on a trip. Literally and figuratively. It’s been progressive over the past 4-5 years and reached a critical point over this summer. The situation has become more harmful to her health (mental, physical, spiritual) in recent weeks. On the surface, the details of the choices she has made are frightening, shocking and baffling. But underneath it all, I have come to the conclusion that she is her own person and I am not responsible for the choices she has or is making.
What has been challenging for me to deal with is that underneath all the drama and chaos, there is surely a treatable illness. I have researched and spoken to several professionals and the symptoms being displayed look like several things: bi-polar, schizophrenia or even possibly early on-set Alzheimer’s (which her brother passed from).
I have to come to terms with the fact that even though there may be something else going on that is fueling the flames of the seemingly destructive behavior, she is an adult and a separate person from me. I have tried rationalizing with her, but I’m not communicating with a completely rational person, so I become the bad guy when I make suggestions of help or treatment. The verbal daggers we’ve both been slinging are mind-numbing, bloody and hazardous to both of our spirits. The details would take volumes to share.
What is important is that I remain a fully functioning, healthy and positive force on this planet, despite the loss of a person that was at one time my biggest fan and solid supporter. Despite the fact that I have my own ideas of what she “should” be doing in order to facilitate her current situation.
So I am working on shifting my perspective from looking at this as a loss, to looking at this as a gift. There is a huge spiritual lesson in all of this. And after the coaching, personal development tricks, doing The Work, meditating and praying…I have come to the conclusion that it’s all about letting go and understanding LOVE and forgiveness on a deeper level.
“So what is this mysterious principle of manifestation that she is referring to?
Are you ready?
It’s L-O-V-E.
That’s right. Love is the greatest manifestation principle of all.
Love, in this context, is not a feeling or emotion. It is a state of being, an attitude toward everything and everyone (including yourself) at all times, in all ways.
Carnelian Sage says that as a state of being, love transforms and becomes the most powerful magnetic force in the universe.”
The hook for me is… “Love, in this context, is not a feeling or emotion. It is a state of being, an attitude toward everything and everyone (including yourself) at all times, in all ways.”
That’s where I’m residing these days my friends. My current state of being. I am owning love and wearing it like the flashiest bling-bling Kanye West has ever seen. I’m visualizing myself walking through this world wearing a bright sparkly heart shaped diamond around my neck that beats and throbs and pulsates and oozes L-O-V-E.
My LOVE can be seen before I enter a room, arrive on the scene or my voice hits the cell waves. My friends and family will feel my LOVE vibes and call me before I can call them. The force of it is THAT strong.
Any bruised relationships, feelings, emotions or endeavors I have in the atmosphere will be transformed by how gi-freakin-normous my LOVE is. Healing has already taken place and I’ve only been focusing my intention on this lovely energy for a couple of days. I am being healed and my relationship with my mother will follow.
I am releasing my need for her to be on any other path than the one she is currently on. So what if I don’t agree with, understand or condone her current choices. It’s not MY gig. It’s hers. Who am I to try and block any deeper spiritual lessons she is to learn? There is obviously some far bigger plan being played out than I can even imagine.
How could I have forgotten that all of my lessons (or the lessons of those I love) might not all feel good, fun or enjoyable. Sometimes it just feels shitty. But unless we allow ourselves to FEEL shitty and understand that we don’t want to keep feeling shitty, we’ll keep bringing about those same lessons to be played out over and over again. Perhaps even messier or more dramatic the next go round.
I’ve just gotten hit upside the head with a virtual 2x4. So I’m working on gettin’ my lesson this time around thank-you-very-much. I hope you feel the LOVE coming from me and the PMP out into the blogoshpere and beyond. I realize without sharing too many details this post might not make sense to some of you, but writing it is one more way for me to express that I am here and I didn’t lose myself in the madness.
I’ve been looking outside of myself for my answers and as we all know, the only place I can find them is within myself…my heart…me. LOVE.
Peace & one day at a time,
Kam
ps...Kanye’s music makes me stronger
Posted by KammieK on 10/11 at 04:06 PM
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