Passionate Theme of the Day: Accountability

I wouldn’t be a coach living in integrity if I weren’t being coached as well. I am proud to say that I am part of an amazing group embarking on a 12-month journey in the Success and Inner Peace Boot camp led by Coach Mary Allen Cole.

Talk about inspiring and passionate people! My fellow boot campers are some of the most incredible people I’ve come to know. Along with our ups, downs and all arounds - we share one-year visions, the emotional muscles we’re flexing and which daily inspired actions we’re committed to. We’re truly living the Power of Inner Choice.

A recent conversation revolved around taking responsibility and being accountable for our own “piece” in communications with others. Whether it’s a significant other, a co-worker, friend or family member - business or personal - we can often become defensive and shut down in communications. When we feel attacked, we start to point fingers and place blame. Closing ourselves off and jumping to a place of being “right”.

A fellow boot camper shared this, “A friend used to tell me that if there is any issue with anyone at all, each person has a piece, even if your piece is 1% and the other person’s piece is 99%.” Which spurred on an entire dialogue around accepting your piece.

That got me thinking about the play on the words piece and peace. Shouldn’t the resolution we’re actually seeking in any discussion be peace? As synchronicity would have it, I then stumbled upon, Ways to Distinguish Yourself #166 - Get People to Respond; not React! by Rajesh Setty at Life Beyond Code.

Rajesh asks us to: “Think about some of your recent “difficult” conversations with people. When the other person made an inappropriate comment, was it a reaction or a response?”

He adds to the piece vs. peace dialogue by shifting us from reaction mode to response mode.

“Since you have only one person that you can truly control - YOU, maybe you should take the larger responsibility of ensuring that you say things in a manner that will elicit a response rather than a reaction.”

Here are a couple examples:

Instead of saying: You NEVER return my phone calls on time.
How about: You seem to be extremely busy as I don’t hear back from you quickly.

Instead of saying: You ALWAYS mess up things
How about: You didn’t pay attention to this job. Where you pre-occupied with something else or were my instructions not clear?

Next time you’re in a difficult conversation, remember to “own” your piece of it and seek peace as your final resolution. How can you respond instead of react? What piece of the conversation are you responsible for? What part of the other person’s reaction are you accountable for?

How can you go into your next discussion armed with tools for peace and response vs. weapons for reaction?

Playing full out means accepting your piece…

Peace & love,
Kam