Passionate Theme of the Day: Perception

Inspiration jolted me this wet and misty morning, as my all time favorite, musical crush - Jason Mraz, crooned melodic melodies for me all the way into the office. Funny thing, I’ve listened to his songs so many times, the lyrics are basically engraved on my brain. So it was interesting that a verse I’ve heard (and sang) too many times to count, struck a cord and got my wheels spinning so early.

The song Did you Get My Message, got me thinking. On the surface it sounds like Jason’s just checking in with a friend to see if they received a message that he left them. But take a closer look and you’ll see that Jason really wants to know if his recipient “got” his message.

Did you get my message, the one I left
While I was trying to condense everything that I meant
In a minute or less when I called to confess
And make all of my stresses go bye-bye

Did you get my message, you didn’t I guess
‘cuz if you did you would have called me with your sweet intent
and we could give it a rest
‘stead of beating my breast
making all of the pressure go sky-high

Do you ever wonder what happens to the words that we send
Do they bend, do they break from the flight that they take
And come back together again with a whole new meaning
In a brand new sense, completely unrelated to the one I sent

Did you get my message, oooh oooh ooooh
~Jason Mraz

The italicized part is what I’m really chewing on.

When we speak, send an e-mail, write a blog post, a memo, a letter – give a presentation, speak to a small group or talk on the phone – any time we communicate (or try to) with another person(s), aren’t we coming from our own perception? Do the words really twist and turn and “bend and break” as they leave our mouths (or fingertips) and enter the recipient’s reality?

I recently had an argument with a friend. It wasn’t a very good day and I was quick to jump on this person when she pushed a hot button. It went something like this: Me – “How come you’re SO quick to play the XYZ role?” Her – “Kammie that’s YOUR perception! That’s how YOU see the situation.” WOW!! She was right. I was judging her. They always say when someone is hitting one of your hot buttons, it’s because something in them is reflecting back at you about yourself.

Upon further reflection I was able to see that I too can play this XYZ role. The very thing I was judging this person about is a quality that I too display. For as much as I hate to admit it, it’s true.

Coach U’s Guiding Principle #7 is “People live from their perception”. So when we’re communicating with others, are we REALLY getting what they are saying, or are we merely filtering it through our often fuzzy, sometimes hazy, somewhat judgmental perception? Suze from brightcopperkettles blog share this insight about perception:

“Truth is filtered through many perceptions. For example, someone could perceive a “truth”, filter it, process it, then communicate their version of it to someone else, who in turn perceives/filters and processes the “truth’ with their different perceptions and cognitive system. They might even get the wrong end of the stick. And that’s completely disregarding egos and emotions, which tend to confuse things and result in the truth being completely mangled up.”

Now, if we were all wired with high speed, extra sensory perception, perhaps communication might be easier. Or if we could visualize the flow of communication like these beautifully animated images (be sure and scroll down) from doorsofperception.com maybe then we might be sure, our message was “gotten”.

Until then, how might we try to perceive the messages that are sent, and not just the message we think we heard thru our funky filters? If something feels hurtful or “off” about what someone is saying are they really trying to hurt you? Or is that just fear talking? If someone says something that pushes a hot buttons, is that really about the other person or is that more about you? Can we step outside of our own perception (reality), using patience and compassion and really try and see things from the other person’s perspective?

This reminds me of another song I’ve been spinnin’ lately, Gomez’s How We Operate. Here’s the relevant part:

“Turn me inside out and upside down
And try to see things my way
Turn a new page, tear the old one out
And I’ll try to see things your way”

How much of our perception and filters is really just old “stuff”? Unresolved emotions or experiences that form a lens over our little bubble of reality and shift the messages coming thru? How might we be more tolerant of others perceptions and practice more patience and discernment when receiving? How might we as the messenger be more aware that others might not perceive our message as we intended it? Just some random ramblings brought on by triggers of musical muses.

How do you perceive your world today? What filters are you looking thru? How might you buff and polish those filters so that you can clearly hear more of the truth?

Trying to perceive with patience,
Kam