Thursday, October 11, 2007
Kayne West & Kick-Ass Friends Keepin’ me Real
Passionate Theme of the Day: Reality Check-Up
“Reality is merely an illusion, although a very persistent one.” ~Albert Einstein
“Sometimes I’m confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn’t obvious...” ~Michael Stipe
“Reality isn’t the way you wish things to be, nor the way they appear to be, but the way they actually are.” ~Robert J. Ringer
Good day passionate people. First off - I love you. Thanks to all of the cool folks who’ve dropped a comment, sent me an e-mail or called. I am constantly blown away by the fact that this form of technology has changed the way we operate and that I have friends all over the planet holding the love & light for me. Big, fat, hugs to you all!
Status update? The situation…still not so hot. However, I’ve been “rethinking my stinking thinking” (check out my favorite fitness coach Craig Harper’s post for practical tips on doing just that) and reached out to an amazing support network of friends and family and am determined not to let this situation get the best of me.
It’s a bump in the road, there’s a lesson to be learned (or lessons) and as the genius Byron Katie says, “It is what it is”. Been playing with Byron Katie’s The Work and working through her Judge Your Neighbor worksheets and asking those four powerful questions of inquiry:
1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought?
If you’ve never done The Work, or experienced the often bittersweet aftertaste of finally finding the TRUTH in your thoughts, I highly recommend visiting her website and watching the powerful video clips of Katie doing The Work with clients. If you’ve ever fallen prey to (and who hasn’t) limiting beliefs or self-sabotaging or judgmental thoughts about yourself or others, doing The Work is like finding freedom.
A good friend of mine once asked, “Is life just one BIG mind-fuck? Is God really just playing with us?” HA! Clearly we are indeed mind-fucking ourselves every time we buy into the downward spiral of limiting thoughts and disempowering beliefs. Just as we do when we waste valuable time and energy judging others, which is what I have been doing with my mom.
I wasn’t ready to share the details of what’s been going on with my family, but will share a bit. Essentially, my mom is on a trip. Literally and figuratively. It’s been progressive over the past 4-5 years and reached a critical point over this summer. The situation has become more harmful to her health (mental, physical, spiritual) in recent weeks. On the surface, the details of the choices she has made are frightening, shocking and baffling. But underneath it all, I have come to the conclusion that she is her own person and I am not responsible for the choices she has or is making.
What has been challenging for me to deal with is that underneath all the drama and chaos, there is surely a treatable illness. I have researched and spoken to several professionals and the symptoms being displayed look like several things: bi-polar, schizophrenia or even possibly early on-set Alzheimer’s (which her brother passed from).
I have to come to terms with the fact that even though there may be something else going on that is fueling the flames of the seemingly destructive behavior, she is an adult and a separate person from me. I have tried rationalizing with her, but I’m not communicating with a completely rational person, so I become the bad guy when I make suggestions of help or treatment. The verbal daggers we’ve both been slinging are mind-numbing, bloody and hazardous to both of our spirits. The details would take volumes to share.
What is important is that I remain a fully functioning, healthy and positive force on this planet, despite the loss of a person that was at one time my biggest fan and solid supporter. Despite the fact that I have my own ideas of what she “should” be doing in order to facilitate her current situation.
So I am working on shifting my perspective from looking at this as a loss, to looking at this as a gift. There is a huge spiritual lesson in all of this. And after the coaching, personal development tricks, doing The Work, meditating and praying…I have come to the conclusion that it’s all about letting go and understanding LOVE and forgiveness on a deeper level.
My friend Raymond at Zenchill.com, recently posted about The Greatest Manifestation Principle of All by author Carnelian Sage. His timing was spot on.
Ray shared this:
“So what is this mysterious principle of manifestation that she is referring to?
Are you ready?
It’s L-O-V-E.
That’s right. Love is the greatest manifestation principle of all.
Love, in this context, is not a feeling or emotion. It is a state of being, an attitude toward everything and everyone (including yourself) at all times, in all ways.
Carnelian Sage says that as a state of being, love transforms and becomes the most powerful magnetic force in the universe.”
The hook for me is… “Love, in this context, is not a feeling or emotion. It is a state of being, an attitude toward everything and everyone (including yourself) at all times, in all ways.”
That’s where I’m residing these days my friends. My current state of being. I am owning love and wearing it like the flashiest bling-bling Kanye West has ever seen. I’m visualizing myself walking through this world wearing a bright sparkly heart shaped diamond around my neck that beats and throbs and pulsates and oozes L-O-V-E.
My LOVE can be seen before I enter a room, arrive on the scene or my voice hits the cell waves. My friends and family will feel my LOVE vibes and call me before I can call them. The force of it is THAT strong.
Any bruised relationships, feelings, emotions or endeavors I have in the atmosphere will be transformed by how gi-freakin-normous my LOVE is. Healing has already taken place and I’ve only been focusing my intention on this lovely energy for a couple of days. I am being healed and my relationship with my mother will follow.
I am releasing my need for her to be on any other path than the one she is currently on. So what if I don’t agree with, understand or condone her current choices. It’s not MY gig. It’s hers. Who am I to try and block any deeper spiritual lessons she is to learn? There is obviously some far bigger plan being played out than I can even imagine.
How could I have forgotten that all of my lessons (or the lessons of those I love) might not all feel good, fun or enjoyable. Sometimes it just feels shitty. But unless we allow ourselves to FEEL shitty and understand that we don’t want to keep feeling shitty, we’ll keep bringing about those same lessons to be played out over and over again. Perhaps even messier or more dramatic the next go round.
I’ve just gotten hit upside the head with a virtual 2x4. So I’m working on gettin’ my lesson this time around thank-you-very-much. I hope you feel the LOVE coming from me and the PMP out into the blogoshpere and beyond. I realize without sharing too many details this post might not make sense to some of you, but writing it is one more way for me to express that I am here and I didn’t lose myself in the madness.
I’ve been looking outside of myself for my answers and as we all know, the only place I can find them is within myself…my heart…me. LOVE.
Peace & one day at a time,
Kam
ps...Kanye’s music makes me stronger